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How Sammy Met Andee

A gay jaunt into the memories of how Sirca's favorite couple came to be, as transcribed by CrossroadsPony

Verse 1 | Verse 2 | Verse 3 | Verse 4 | Verse 5 | Verse 6 | Verse 7 | Verse 8 | Verse 9 | Verse 10 | Verse 11

Verse 12 | Verse 13 | Verse 14 | Verse 15 | Verse 16 | Verse 17 | Verse 18 | Verse 19 | Verse 20 | Verse 21

Verse 5: The Number in the Middle of the Show

Audio Version:

Samael opened one eye with a half-concealed smile when he heard the flutter of wings behind him. He waited a moment for the sound of talons gripping into the support post of his hammock before he thrust an arm back blindly to grab one of the bat's legs.

Andee cursed, glaring down at the grinning chupa. "Goddamn, puppy, you 'bout to get hot coffee all over that pretty face of yours!" he threatened as he shook the travel mugs over Samael's head.

Samael chuckled and held up both hands with an innocent wink. "Mornin' to you, too, hon." His smile grew warm as he gazed up at Andee. "Hope ya slept nice."

"Like a goddamn baby," Andee replied, doing his best to keep his features muted. "Regardless of what you were hopin' to hear."

"Only thing I was hopin' to hear this mornin' was yer lovely pipes," Samael purred with another grin, shifting around on his hammock with the ease that could only come from a week or two of practice. He reached up and Andee passed him one of the coffees with an amused smile.

"You ever switch that bullshit off?" Andee shot back coolly even as he chuckled and jerked his head to the side. "We ain't got time for it, either way -- it's about eighteen hours to Episemon, and we only got about half the night left."

"Yeah, no need to remind me how short the night is," Samael mumbled around the lid of his mug as he shuffled out of the hammock and back onto the platform with a wistful sigh. "Guessin' a nice breakfast together is outta the question, eh?"

"Now you're usin' that big-smartly brain," Andee mocked, hiding his own smile while flicking his wing against the rebel as he passed by. "Wulok's got some gear for us and there should be a bright 'n shiny rebuilt 'goose for your dumb redneck ass to cream over." Samael snickered as he stood and ambled after the bat, who added over a shoulder: "How's your breaking and entering?"

"Shit, ain't a stronghold I ain't been able to penetrate yet," Samael bragged as he flashed a cocky grin. "You jus' point where ya want me to pop in."

Andee smirked as he pressed against the stairwell while extending a leg. The chupa noticed too late, squawking as he tripped over the bat's limb and promptly stumbled forward, barely managing to hold onto his travel mug as he half-slid, half-fell down the last several steps to land heavily on his rump. As he stared morbidly back at Andee, the bat gave a simpering smile and sauntered smoothly past him, patting him on the head as he went by. "Sure thing, puppy. Now get off your ass 'n follow me -- we gotta shitload of pack-muling that's got ya name all over it!"

Samael was all smiles in spite of the large backpack that hung from his shoulders. He had his thumbs hooked into the straps and he walked with a bounce in his step that made Andee's scowl grow deeper. "Oh, c'mon, you really gonna keep grinnin' like an idiot the whole way there?" the bat grumbled.

"Hey, man, I din' say shit! Wulok's the one who said it!" the chupa responded cheerfully. "Can't help what folks think!"

"Uh huh, yeah, you ain't doin' shit to get these assholes to call us 'cute'," Andee complained as he slapped at the rebel's thigh a few times. "How many times I gotta say it? I ain't cute!"

"Well that's jus' a matter'a opinion," Samael cooed, returning the gentle smack with his tail as the two of them made their way to the outskirts of town.

Andee muttered as they turned into a tunnel. "I got an opinion for ya, puppy, gonna shove it right where the sun don't shine, too, 'cept that's what ya want." Samael grinned toothily again while Andee approached a large tarp. The bat grabbed the edge and then yanked it to one side to reveal a polished ATV, fitted with some very custom additions. "Here, get your rocks off on this instead so ya stop dry-humpin' my fuckin' leg."

"Ain't gonna be that dry," Samael drawled even as his eyes danced at the sight of the four-wheeler. He gave a low whistle and tugged slowly on the straps of his pack. "Gatdamn but that's a lovely lookin' piece," he murmured, taking a few steps around to one side. "Those tires gonna tear up them tunnels,' lookit that exhaust, yer boys put some extra pipes on this bad sumbitch!" His grin grew wider. "Ain't got wings, but we gonna be flyin' all the same..."

"Lemme know when you're done changin' out your underwear," Andee replied mildly.

"Heh, I don't wear no--"

"Yeah, I know," Andee interrupted with a roll of his eyes, barely masking his smile as he glanced at the chupa and then thumbed toward the back of the ATV. "Strap our shit down 'n let's make tracks. We gotta long trip, snowblower."

Samael laughed as he shrugged off the backpack and secured it to the rear rack of the off-road vehicle. "At least the company's nicer'n usual," he offered while approaching the handlebars.

"What, you don't normally have a whole harem of adoring rebels with you everywhere ya go?" Andee retorted with a jab of a claw into the chupa's leg.

"Nah...typically jus' me out 'ere." Samael paused. "Well, 'n Nelson yellin' at me over the radio. But normally my gigs run solo!"

"You ain't so special, you think I usually bring along a dumb, loud asshole to my jobs?" Andee huffed as Samael straddled the front of the ATV. "I'm the definition of a one-man show, puppy!"

But Samael only smiled over a shoulder, his eyes glowing invitingly. "Maybe it's 'bout time for a duet then, ain't it?"

Andee smiled back wryly as he hopped up behind the chupa. "Still think you're the slickest thing on two legs, eh?"

"Gotta be to keep up with yer slippery ass," Samael replied with a grin. He waited for Andee to grip into his sides and then gunned the engine to send them roaring down the tunnel.

"Gee, maybe we shoulda brought the shovels. That, y'know. We left back at the campsite."

Andee huffed and leaned forward to try and see if there was any sort of gap in the pile of dirt, rocks and concrete. "Eyy, eat a dick, shortstack -- I said I'm sorry! Not my fault we didn't bring coffee!"

"It's totally yer fault," Samael teased while he prodded at one of the pieces of rebar sticking out of the cave-in. "But alright, alright, so we forgot our shovels an' ya ain't knew 'bout this shit that we ain't gettin' past." He glanced down at the grumpy bat. "Whatcha think?"

"I dunno." Andee grumbled and yanked his hat off to scratch at the top of his head. "We're about an hour away, still. The mongoose ain't gettin' us any further unless we dig through." He wrinkled his muzzle before reaching toward his half-poncho. "Oooor, we could just..." He deftly produced a small pipe bomb with a grin, twirling it around his thumb and forefinger.

"A'right, I know ya like yer big-booms...but hear me out," Samael interjected with a half-smile, dropping one hand to his hip. "Instead'a doin' that, which might kill us, might get the attention of someone else who might also kill us, or all of the above..." He pointed back down from the direction they'd come. "You said we passed an ol' maintenance station 'bout ten minutes back. How 'bout we roll on back there, pop up top-side 'n go on foot?"

"Yeah, sure, that's all good 'n fine, jackass, except that hour I mentioned is how long it'd take gettin' there through these tunnels. Where we got an almost straight shot, ridin' on a tricked-out goose!"

Samael only offered his usual winning smile. "Shit, son, then we'll get us a new ride. Ain't no big deal!"

"Uh huh, and you're just gonna get us right through any checkpoints we come across, over to this dickweed's mansion in one of the nicest, most well-patrolled areas of the city?" Andee scoffed. "C'mon, just a couple small ones -- it'll get this dirt right the fuck outta here and we can keep goin' on the goose."

Samael just kept up his goddamned relaxed composure and gently pushed the explosive back toward Andee's chest. "Andee, I promise ya done a great job with runnin' this gig, honest, but you gotta lemme help. I got this. I'll get us there, checkpoint or not. It ain't nothin' I ain't dealt with before."

Andee's features tightened at the thought of letting Samael take charge. Their eyes locked for a few seconds before the bat finally cursed quietly and shoved the compact bomb back under his poncho. "Fuck. Alright, puppy, but swear to shit, you fuck this up, I'm makin' you walk back to the fuckin' cave."

Samael's expression was as reassuring as possible as he led Andee back to the ATV. "I toldja. I got this."

"I thought you had this!" Andee hissed as he stared furtively from side to side.

"It ain't any easier with you naggin'!" Samael whispered back loudly, his head tilted in an attempt to focus while he maneuvered the slim piece of metal around beneath the seal of the car window. "Gawddamn, it'd be nice if York was big as that motherfucker is, he got the most delicate--"

"Shit, topsiders!" Andee interrupted, leaping up and shoving on Samael's head to force him to duck behind the car as a trio of drunken chupas stumbled down the opposite sidewalk. The rebel winced and kept his hands where they were to avoid losing his progress, even as Andee mashed into his back and pressed them both into the car door.

"If ya'd wanted to snuggle, ya coulda just asked," Samael remarked, earning a prompt shove of his muzzle further into the side panel. "Ow, my fayth..."

"You're gonna lose more than your face if ya don't hurry your ass up!"

Andee cautiously peeked through the car to peer across the dark street -- the revelers were continuing on their way, however, their cheerful laughter echoing further down the street. The bat sighed in relief and then released his grip on the chupa's skull. "Coast is clear."

"Y'keep manhandlin' me this nice, I'mma let you have top bunk," Samael commented, his grin reflecting off the window into Andee's scowl.

As the rebel went back to jimmying the lock, Andee smirked and glanced down both sides of the quiet street again. "Who said I wouldn't anyway, shortstack?"

"Yer confidence is so enticin'," Samael fired back before he gave a soft whoop as his improvised tool latched onto the cable within the door. He yanked up firmly and was rewarded with the lock disengaging. "An' that's how we do it in Sampi," he declared as he opened the door with a flourish, bowing down low and sweeping his other arm toward Andee. "After you, m'lady."

"Do you fuckers even have electricity in Sampi?" Andee taunted even as he grinned and hopped into the passenger seat. "Bet half the times you fuck your cousins, it's only 'cause you can't see whose uglies ya bumpin' in that dark-ass cave."

Samael grinned back nonchalantly. "That smart mouth'a yers writin' checks I can't wait to deposit," he rumbled, pulling off his backpack and tossing it past Andee into the backseat before pushing the door shut and then leaping onto the hood to slide to the other side. He glanced through the windshield to catch the flash of an impressed expression, even if it was quickly replaced by a scowl. Samael laughed to himself and opened the driver's side to slip behind the wheel. After pulling the door shut, he ran his hands over the dashboard thoughtfully. "A'right, all we need's..."

Andee grunted and folded his arms over his chest. "Is a lesson on hot-wiring? You better know what the fuck you're doin', puppy, or this whole job's gonna be fucked!"

"A li'l faith, son, this ain't that nice of a car," Samael replied as he peered into the center console, then grinned victoriously when he produced a screwdriver.

As he brandished it in Andee's face, the bat slowly raised an eyebrow. "And what are ya gonna do with that, dick-for-brains? Sit 'n spin?"

"I'd say between the two of us, yer definitely more qualified to be the 'spinner'," Samael shot back with a wink before he rolled the screwdriver neatly between his fingers and then shoved it into the ignition. His tongue stuck out briefly in concentration, then he twisted the handle of the tool to coax the car's engine to life. An enormous smile immediately brightened his features and he beamed at his companion, who couldn't conceal his surprised look. "Eh??"

"Ah, fuck off, you just drew a royal flush!" Andee protested, throwing both of his arms up. "You tellin' me the only reason you ain't dead yet is 'cause of how lucky you are?"

"Now why would I complain 'bout gettin' lucky more often'n most?" Samael answered coyly, shifting the sedan into gear and then flicking on the headlights as he accelerated away from the curb. "I got us the ride -- now you gotta get us there."

Andee snorted. "Technically, you gotta get us there, puppy -- but I'll tell ya how. Just start headin' for the building that looks like a big lit-up titty."

The chupa's grin never left his face. "Heh. They'll never expect us there."

"I'm just sayin', once ya learn how t'drive a tractor, you c'n drive anything!"

"I ain't gettin' on a goddamn dropship with ya, puppy, don't care what ya try and say!" Andee exclaimed, standing on the passenger seat for emphasis as he gestured with both arms. "You can't fuckin' tell me learning how to drive your goddamn redneck-mobile makes ya even a tiny bit qualified to leave the fuckin' ground."

Samael only tossed the bat a winning smile, leaning back with one finger keeping the steering wheel steady. "Shit, big talk comin' from someone who needs some fuckin' stilts just to reach the pedals!" he teased, already anticipating the black cap being swung toward his head as he laughed and defended himself with his free forearm. "Don't get mad, ya probably jus' need to drink s'more milk! You'll grow up one day!"

"We'll see who's makin' short jokes after I call Baskins up and tell 'im where he can find you to chop your legs off!" Andee threatened, placing his hat back between his ears and turning around to drop back into the seat. He opened his muzzle to utter another string of insults, only to widen his eyes and quickly slap at Samael with a wing. "Oh fuck, checkpoint, checkpoint!!"

The rebel blinked and turned his attention back to the road. He cursed at the sight of the guard post and twin boom gates; it appeared to be the only way through the tall concrete wall that separated the tightly-packed urban district from the more sprawling residential zone. "Shit, shit, uhhh..."

Samael's eyes flicked to Andee, then to the backseat. He leaned into the center while searching around blindly with one hand before grasping into something with a grunt. He yanked a small blanket out from where it had been shoved under the passenger seat, and he and Andee shared a brief grimace. The bat scowled but nodded wordlessly, sliding down into the space in front of the seat and under the dashboard. Samael frowned and tossed the cloth over the bat, reaching across with a paw to nudge it into place as he began to decelerate and took a deep breath to compose himself.

He slowed the car steadily, making it a point to roll the window down early while he approached the soldier that stepped out from the small shack and lazily gestured for Samael to drive up to his position. Samael was quick to give a sheepish smile as he casually searched for any other members of the local militia he could spot on duty. "Officer! Evenin'!!"

The soldier squinted at him, clicking on a flashlight and pointing it in the rebel's face. He frowned for a moment as the light glinted off Samael's piercings. "What brings you out here so late?"

"Aw shit, man, my boss called me up, said he had some big important breakfast meetin' at sun-up, apparently they're doin' it out on the gat-damn lawn an' them hedges just ain't quite perfect!" Samael complained as he sighed loudly and made a big show of rolling his eyes. The soldier narrowed his eyes a bit, but Samael continued smoothly: "The missus ain't let me heard the last of it, neither, she's always tellin' me 'you should stand up to him, tell him you have a life at home!!' like she got a clue how it is out here, y'know? And I'm always like 'woman, this is my job, I can't go makin' waves, you want the kids to eat this week or not?!?' An' then on and on she goes, 'I knew I shoulda married Bobby, he's halfway to bein' a Cleric, why ain't you got no title, Sammy??' an' then y'know I can't say shit, 'cause what the hell's a guy s'posed to say to that??" He sighed again and tapped his temple wistfully. "Y'feel me, man?"

The guard blinked slowly as he visibly attempted to process Samael's small melodrama. He shifted his weight before moving the beam of his flashlight to the rear of the car. "Yeah...I suppose so." The light lingered on the backpack for several seconds. "You going camping in his yard or something?"

Samael glanced over his shoulder before waving a hand with a groan. "Wouldja believe me that asshole actually makes me bring my own shit? I gotta pack up the cables 'n trimmers every time I come out to his he ain't got the cash to have his own tool shed, y'know? An' that's the thing, he do got himself a gat-damn tool shed! 'Cept y'know what he keeps in it? His fuckin' old clothes! He don't wanna give 'em away, so he just boxes 'em all up 'n sticks 'em out there! Ain't that some shit??"

The guard finally snorted, lowering his light somewhat. "Yeah, that sure is." He flicked his eyes to the side, then added in a lower voice: "My buddy just got promoted to Inquisitor...and you know what he did? Took an entire office at the precinct and turned it into his own 'resting room'. What the hell's a resting room??"

"Right?!" Samael slapped a hand against the steering wheel with a chortle. "Where do these assholes get off, eh? Anyway, glad I ain't the only one pickin' up after the big guys upstairs. I better get goin', though, 'fore he docks me fer gettin' there late..." He smiled encouragingly and nodded toward the boom gate.

"Ah, yeah, yeah, for sure," the guard nodded and held out his free hand. "Just gotta check your papers and you're all set."

Samael continued his easy smile even as his claws scraped delicately along the gear shifter. There was a second militia member he could see in the shack -- less than there would have been in broad daylight, but still more than he could deal with quietly. "Oh, shit, fer sure!" he replied as he turned toward the center console. As he pretended to dig through it, he heard the telltale flick of a lighter from under the blanket. His eyes widened slightly when he saw a trail of smoke drifting up from the edge of the cover. "Aw, fuck! I musta left 'em on the counter! Stacy was yellin' at me the whole time I was tryin' to pack up, gat-damn, but she screeches like a banshee when she's upset...and..." He paused to sniff very obviously at the air. "Aw, shit, ya smell that??"

The soldier frowned and leaned forward slightly before his eyes bulged somewhat. " that your car?"

"This damn thing's on its last legs, I tell ya what...the gat-damn valves are so worn down, they just start smokin' sometimes..." He glanced into the rear-view mirror to see another car had rolled up behind them, its headlights making the guard's brow furrow further. "Officer, I hate to ask this, but c'n ya gimme a pass? I can't lose this job 'n this ol' pile'a junk's gonna give on me right here'n now if I don't get it rollin' again." An idea came to the rebel and he reached past the still-smoking blanket to the glove compartment. He found the car's paperwork and grabbed it to offer to the guard with a pleading smile. "I can give ya my registration to hold onto fer now! I'll be back through here 'fore the sun's even up an' you c'n keep this as collateral 'til I get back!"

The car behind them -- a considerably more expensive looking vehicle -- flashed its headlights. The soldier shifted again before sighing and waving to the paperwork. "It's fine -- just be sure you have your ID next time you come through." He gestured to the other guard in the shack and then slapped the hood of Samael's car. "You're good to go. And uh...good luck with your boss."

Samael smiled gratefully and nodded several times. "Thank you so much, Officer! Yer a life-saver!!" He shifted the car back into gear and did his best to drive forward slowly when the boom-arm lifted to allow him passage. He offered a nod to the second guard, but the bored chupa barely even made eye contact as Samael drove past.

As soon as he was through the checkpoint, he ripped the blanket off of the floorboards, his eyes bulging. "Sonuvabitch, Andee, ya tryna blow our asses up??"

The bat huffed even as he hurriedly pinched the now-extremely-short fuse of the explosive in his hands. "Hey, I ain't the one sharin' a fuckin' screenplay with a goddamn militia-man!"

Samael grinned despite himself as Andee tucked away the explosive. "Aw, c'mon, yer a li'l impressed."

"Surprised I ain't waitin' for you to finish swallowing," Andee replied mildly, stealing a glance back through the rear window. No one was pursuing them, however, and the bat relaxed with a grunt. "Okay, ya did alright, ya did alright," he admitted. When Samael peered at him with a pout, Andee rolled his eyes and smiled slightly. "Smooth talkin' ain't gonna get us inside the house, so hope you got more than just a pretty mouth, puppy."

"Guess we'll find out soon enough!" Samael sang out. "Now where to next?"

The trip through the residential district was uneventful, allowing Andee to settle by the time they approached the Omegite's house. Samael craned his neck forward incredulously to stare up at the sprawling estate, only for the bat to smack his arm several times and jerk his head toward an alleyway near the property. "Let's stash the car over there, puppy...don't wanna just park out front."

"Obviously," Samael replied bemusedly, steering into the dark side-street with the headlights already extinguished. The sedan practically disappeared in the shadow of the concrete wall that blocked off the well-tended yard, but that worked in their favor. Andee busied himself with skimming the area to check for any wandering eyes while Samael eased open the back door to retrieve the backpack. By the time he turned around, Andee had already spread his wings and flit to the top of the wall to peer across the quiet lawn. "How's it look?" Samael whispered up to him while he scrambled onto the roof of the car.

"Open run to the house...c'mon, shortstack, toss the pack over and I'll help ya up."

Samael nodded with a grin as he hoisted the backpack over his head and then lobbed it in a high arc over the wall with a grunt of exertion. Andee glanced at where it landed before gripping into the top of the wall with his talons and one hand while leaning back and offering his other arm. "Get up here, puppy."

There was no hesitation, nor even a teasing remark about their difference in size. The chupa took one step back, then lunged across the roof of the car and leaped up against the wall. He kicked off the concrete while reaching up, his body hanging in the air for a second...before Andee grabbed his wrist and yanked him upward. The bat grit his teeth as he slipped a bit, but kept his grip on Samael's arm as the added momentum gave the rebel just enough lift to be able to snatch the top of the wall with his free hand.

Andee wheezed in relief as Samael pulled himself up to perch next to him. The chupa grinned his appreciation and raised a fist, lifting an eyebrow inquisitively. Andee squinted up at him before smiling slightly and tapping his knuckles against the rebel's. "Let's do this, dumbass." He hopped down to the lawn as his yellow eyes shone in the low light and once more scanned for any movement from the main house.

Samael followed suit as he dropped into the soft grass and slid the backpack over his shoulders again. His eyes had begun to adjust, but he still waited for Andee to tap his thigh and dash forward before he ducked low to move after him. It was a strange sensation; he wasn't used to following someone else's lead on a mission.

He glanced over the layout of the estate in the darkness as they swiftly crossed the yard. They were moving toward a line of hedges that surrounded the house -- apparently his bullshit cover story had more truth to it than he'd realized. Several trees dotted the lush grass to provide a bit of cover, and he spotted what looked like an excavator in the backyard, next to a muddy pond that he guessed was in the middle of being dug out. Fuckin' rich assholes...

Ahead of them, the silhouette of the three-story house loomed in the center of the rolling landscape. It was adorned with a few balconies and several gaudy outcroppings that jutted out between the massive picture windows, most of which had curtains drawn across them. Large security lamps were affixed to the building's corners, creating harsh circles of light in the grass that were easy enough to avoid, at least. Samael didn't see any movement on the roof as they raced up to the hedges, which he hoped meant a lack of any outside patrols for them to--

"Shit, into the bushes, puppy!!"

He felt Andee's claws pushing into his leg and he acted on instinct, ripping the backpack off to clutch it closer to his broad frame as he turned sideways and shuffled between two of the thick shrubs. Andee was right behind him, cursing under his breath as they pushed through the stiff branches until they came against the concrete foundation of the mansion. There was a gap between the hedges and the walls of the house, and the two pressed against it together silently.

Samael heard the soft footfalls through the grass a moment later and he held his breath as a dark figure strode past their hiding spot. Andee's claws dug lightly into his thigh but the armored figure continued on its way without pause, allowing them both to exhale slowly. "Fuck, was hopin' he didn't have any patrols," Andee muttered, his eyes shifting up to Samael. "All the reason to get in 'n out faster -- get that backpack on again, we gotta climb, puppy."

Samael blinked and glanced up to stare at the side of the mansion. "C-climb?" Hiding in a tree waiting for a few soldiers to stumble past was one thing...but the thought of scaling the side of a building... " 'bout we jus' hop on over to that side door 'n jimmy it open? It's waaaaay less out in the open."

Andee scowled and grabbed the waistband of Samael's pants, yanking him downward. "Listen, shortstack, you got us here, but I'm gettin' us in! This jackass has his office somewhere on the top floor and I don't wanna be wanderin' up a shitload of stairs inside to find it! So shut that damn trap and get climbin'!"

Samael licked the end of his muzzle nervously, his tail flicking a bit. He wasn't used to this. But beyond that... He glanced up again, feeling a dizzying sense of vertigo as he tried to visualize himself mounting the facade. "A-Andee, I dunno, what if we--"

He heard a brief flutter of wings and turned back just in time to see Andee leaping up to grab his muzzle, dragging the chupa's head down as he dropped back to the ground. Samael was forced to one knee, his eyes bulging in surprise as Andee shoved his nose against his maw. "Hey. You got this, Sammy. You been sleepin' higher than this every single damn night. Last time we were on top of the tower in Xulod, you didn't even break a sweat." The bat offered a small smile. "Don't be a fuckin' pussy and make me do this shit alone."

Samael shifted a bit but didn't break the gaze. His heart began to thud harder as he nodded nervously. Andee released his jaws, allowing him to mumble sheepishly: "Okay, but if I fall off this big bitch, yer gonna owe me dinner..."

Andee grinned. "Deal. Now c'mon. Up to the balcony." He sprung upward to grip into a window sill, using it to pull himself up and toward a decorative wall pattern that he easily started to scramble along.

Samael warily watched the bat ascend, knowing full and well that Andee could have just flown up to the balcony if he'd wanted -- this was purely for his sake. He slid his arms through the straps of the pack again and then took a few rapid breaths as he hopped from paw to paw. "Okay...okay, okay, ya got this, Sammy, ya got this..."

Samael's eyes were wide as he leaped from the drainpipe to the railing around the balcony. His fingers clenched securely into it while his body thumped into the side, leaving his legs to dangle freely for a few seconds. He hurriedly scrambled over the railing and then sighed in relief as his paws landed on the solid platform below. "Holy fuckin' shit, I ain't even pissed myself," he muttered, taking a moment to glance back down into the yard and immediately regretting it as his vision swam.

"Yeah, well, it ain't gonna do us any good if ya piss yourself now, so c'mon!" Andee whispered as he yanked on the back of Samael's pants. The chupa shook the vertigo from his head, taking a few steps back and then turning to join the bat at the glass sliding door.

Samael grinned and started to fish in one of his pockets as Andee tested the door and found it locked. "You want me to use them magic fingers again or--oh."

He trailed off as the door slid open before blinking at the stiff playing card in Andee's grip. The bat grinned back over a shoulder while tucking it back into his poncho. "What, ya think you're the only one with a smooth trick up his sleeve? Now I'm just hurt, shortstack."

They slipped inside and Samael pulled the door shut behind them while remarking softly: "Think how I feel -- knew that inside straight ya drew the other night jus' din' feel legit..." They shared a smirk before falling silent as they crept through the dark room, Andee automatically taking the lead.

It was some sort of library, adorned with multiple bookshelves and several reading chairs. A few doors dotted the walls and Samael studied them all with a frown before whispering: "Ya know where we goin'?"

"Eh, we just poke around 'til we find an office, how hard could it be?" the bat muttered back, reaching up to carefully open the first door. Samael tensed in preparation behind him as they found themselves staring at...a closet.

Samael grinned despite himself. "Heh. Never too late to get back in."

Andee rolled his eyes and shut the door. "Please. Like you've ever been. The minute you sashayed outta yo' momma, every closet door in a ten-mile radius blew off the fuckin' hinges."

The chupa had to repress his snort as they moved to the next door, which opened into a hallway. Andee grunted in satisfaction, jerking his head and moving as lightly as he could across the wooden floors. Samael followed closely behind, keeping watch to their rear as Andee stalked down the hall and peeked into each doorway they passed.

Samael cocked his head at the sound of approaching footsteps, frowning back over a shoulder and then widening his eyes as he saw the helmet of a security guard coming up a stairway behind them. In front of him, Andee was muttering under his breath and pushing open another door, and Samael did the only thing he could. He bent down and quickly swept up the bat in his arms, holding him close to his chest while gliding into the open room and slowly nudging the door shut.

Andee flailed in surprise but Samael kept his firm grip around him as he jerked his head toward the door. "Shhhh..."

The bat's ears twisted around and he instantly fell silent as he picked up the sound of the guard's steps. He scowled up at Samael all the same, but the chupa only half-smiled as he maintained the one-armed hug and held Andee against his broad chest until the footfalls went past the door and continued toward the other end of the outer hallway.

"Swear to god, puppy, you ever had a personal bubble?" Andee grumbled as Samael finally let him drop down to the thankfully-carpeted floors. The bat brushed himself off and adjusted his hat while the chupa just smiled and shrugged amicably. "Yeah, didn't think so." He made a face as he peered down the new hallway. "Fuck, why do rich fuckers have so many rooms, how often does the asshole even go in all of 'em?"

"Fuck if I know," Samael replied with a scowl. "But guess that means we got less a chance of runnin' into him, eh? Though if we do, gonna punch that fucker in the face just fer livin' in this gawddamn mansion..."

Andee snorted quietly in amusement and led Samael into yet another door. "I ain't gonna stop ya," the bat chortled before he grinned and rubbed his hands together. "Ha, here we go!"

They stepped into a large office and Samael was quick to push the door shut behind them as Andee prowled across the room and started to search for his prize. Samael gave a low whistle as he ambled around in the opposite direction. "Hot damn, 'n I thought Nelson had nice digs..."

"You mooks operate out of a shitty cave in the ice-cliffs," Andee retorted, yanking open a liquor cabinet and peering into it. "Anything you think is 'nice digs' is gonna be a fuckin' hole in the dirt to the rest'a the world." He paused, then snickered as he glanced back over a shoulder. "Shouldn't she have a fuckin' pint-sized room, anyway? Ain't like she's gotta worry about hitting the ceiling!"

Samael grinned despite himself. "Hey, give'er some slack. Only reason she got so much room is fer all that damn shit she straps on her fuckin' wheelchair. Like a damn rollin' spec-ops team all by herself."

"Yeah but one nudge toward a flight'a stairs and she's boned," Andee tossed back while chuckling and shuffling a few bottles of booze to the side. "Man, this asshole's got some expensive shit in here. And yet we're gettin' our asses shot at to try and give some fuckin' noodles to the regular douchebags." He scowled and shook a bottle of brandy at Samael. "You think the fucker thinks about that every time he's sippin' on this like the cock-board he is?"

"I dunno, I'll ask 'im if I see 'im," Samael drawled as he wandered up to a side door. He shook his head slowly as he reached out and ran a hand over the paneling, his claws tracing over the inlaid metal. He imagined just a single door from this place would sell for enough cash to pay for a week or two of Movement supplies. It was just a tiny bit ridiculous. The rebel wrinkled his muzzle and then reached down to twist the knob and pull the door carefully open, leaning in to peer at...

...A pudgy chupa in a silken robe, staring down at him with a glass of milk in one hand. Samael noticed a ring on one finger, adorned with Omega's symbol. They gawked at each other for a moment before the Omegite opened his muzzle and stammered: "I-I-Intru--!"

Samael swiftly whipped an arm up and rabbit-punched him in the jaw to cut him off. The Omegite's eyes rolled back into his skull and he slumped against the wall, knocked unconscious from the rebel's sudden blow. His arm drooped when his body went limp and Samael's eyes bulged as he lunged for the glass of milk. He grinned enormously as he swept it up delicately before it could drop to the floor, leaving the dazed Omegite slouched against the wall while Samael spun around to wiggle his eyebrows at Andee. "Ha!! How's that fer smooth?!"

"Ya damn vhiaksubo!" the bat hissed, while Samael sniffed at the milk and then took a long swig from it. "Ya tryna get us caught??"

"Aw c'mon, that was slick as hell," Samael complained before he blinked and then huffed at the unconscious chupa. "Wait, shit, I fergot t'ask 'im 'bout if he's a cock-board."

"Leave him your number on a sticky note," Andee deadpanned. He grumbled, then paused as he spied a safe behind the wooden desk. "Oh shit, that's gotta be it!" He practically danced in a circle while Samael snickered and strode closer. "Let's loot the shit 'n get the fuck out before Microdick wakes up!"

Samael squinted at the combination lock on the front of the safe, then flashed a toothy smile. "So ya wanna see if I know how to crack a safe?"

"No, I want ya to grab that bowl of candy on this fucker's desk," Andee muttered, gesturing idly over his shoulder. Samael blinked but shrugged and did as he was told, bringing the bowl over to Andee while taking out a piece to pop into his muzzle.

"What, ya got some kinda fix or summin'?"

Andee glanced up at him and then smirked. "Sure, we'll call it that." He took the bowl and promptly poured the candy out onto the floor, causing the chupa to curse softly.

"Hey! Don' waste it, ya jerk!"

"Ah, shut ya trap 'n make sure that asshole don't wake up 'n start callin' for help," Andee replied dismissively as he busily took something out from beneath his poncho and placed it against the safe.

Samael scowled as he turned around to peer at the unconscious Omegite. "Still out like a light, I didn't pull nothin' on that punch," he announced before grabbing the milk to take another sip from it. He heard the flick of Andee's lighter and frowned into the glass, turning slowly back toward the bat. "Wait, what're you..."

"Fire in the hole!" Andee whispered gleefully, holding the bowl against the safe with both hands while turning his head to one side. Samael's eyes widened before he cursed when a dull thop! sounded from beneath the bowl. As Andee lifted the broken porcelain, a plume of white smoke poured out from beneath it, which he brushed at while he cackled in delight. "Now that's how ya crack a safe!" He gestured with both hands at a neat hole that had been blown in the front of the safe, allowing him to pull the door open and reveal the contents within. "Tada!"

"Shit, you really do know what yer doin' with them 'splosives," Samael said, no small amount of wonder in his voice. "I'll be goddamned."

"Quit bein' goddamned and bring that backpack over here!" Andee ordered with a grin as he held up a stack of cash in one hand and a bunch of blank identification cards in the other. "A little extra dough ain't a bad way to spruce things up, neither! Good thing this fucker's predictable!"

Samael smirked and squatted next to the bat while swinging the pack around to his front and opening it so Andee could start filling it with the contents of the safe. "An' that he has a fuckin' glass jaw." He stuck his tongue out over his shoulder. "That's what ya get for bein' an asshole, ya...asshole!"

The rebel then paused as the body of the Omegite began to slide along the wall. "Oh shit, wait, don't do that!" he whispered awkwardly, tossing the backpack at Andee before trying to catch the Omegite's body...and wincing as the limp chupa fell right between his arms to thud firmly against the carpet. "Whoops."

Andee glared across the room at Samael, who peered back awkwardly. "Goddammit, puppy," the bat grumbled, hurriedly shoving another handful of cards into the backpack, then cinching it shut. "Fuck it, that's plenty -- let's roll!" He tossed the pack to Samael and then grimaced as an ear swiveled toward the door. "Ah shit, someone's comin'!"

The Omegite appeared to still be unconscious and Samael nodded as he stepped away from the sprawled chupa. He moved quickly behind the door as he waited for whoever was approaching...but they went into the adjacent room, it sounded like...wherever Microdick had come from, Samael guessed. He jerked his head to Andee and eased the door open before poking his head out. He caught the tip of a tail disappearing into the adjoining room as a voice called out: "Mr. Avery? Are you okay, sir?"

Samael gestured rapidly with his arm, which required no translation as Andee raced out and along the thick carpet with Samael close behind. The rebel peeked into the room as they passed and saw the guard moving toward the open door into the office. It would only be a few seconds until he found the passed-out Omegite.

He nearly ran into Andee, wincing but remaining silent as the bat held a finger to his muzzle while motioning with his head into the main hallway. Another guard was patrolling just in front of the landing. Samael furrowed his brow as he heard the first guard's voice from behind them: "Sir, I found you on the --"

"Huh? Wha-...get off me! Alarm! A-ALARM! THIEVES, INTRUDERS!" another voice squawked, panic and fury tinging his words.

Andee and Samael both cursed. The chupa glanced at the door nearest them, shrugging and grasping Andee's shoulder before quickly easing the door open and peeking inside. It was some kind of a lounge, complete with massive picture windows and a fireplace -- better than being out in the open, at least.

Andee didn't hesitate as he dashed under Samael's arm, and the rebel slipped inside as well before shutting the door and rubbing the back of his head. "Uh...plan B?"

"Ugh, fuck, there ain't no plan B, puppy, we just need to get the fuck outta here," Andee muttered as he started to check the room. "This asshole's important, it won't take them long to..."

"...dropship is en route -- begin a search of the grounds, seal all the exits," Samael heard through the door.

"To get a gat-damn dropship?" Samael hissed as he instinctively twisted the lock on the door and then searched the contents of the room.

Andee bit his lip and then jabbed a finger toward the chupa. "I toldja he was connected! Why the fuck didja let his fat ass fall over??"

Samael huffed, but was interrupted by a wince as the door handle jiggled. He took a slow step away while muttering over his shoulder: "We c'n blame each other later, hon, right now we're 'bout to be in a real fuckin' jam..."

The same muffled voice from before spoke through the door: "--the lounge normally locked?"

It was then Samael's eyes settled on one of the plush armchairs positioned near the fireplace. He shrugged and quickly hefted it in his strong arms to wedge it against the door. It wasn't his best plan, but it was all he had at the moment.

"--You hear that?" The handle shook violently again and Samael didn't waste time grabbing the other oversized chair and shoving it into place atop the first one. A minor improvement on the original plan.

"Andee, we need an exit," Samael warned as someone began to pound at the door and yell for assistance. He glanced toward the bat and then yelped as a gunshot cracked from outside the lounge, sending bits of splintered wood and upholstery flying through the air. Apparently the chairs weren't bulletproof...what a cheapskate. "Like now!"

"Fuck, okay...look, this is our only bet!" Andee hopped onto a table positioned near the huge windows, peering down into the darkness. "I can fly and's not that far down, puppy! You'll be fine!"

"It's three fuckin' stories," Samael retorted in a strained voice before ducking and backpedaling further as several more bullets tore through the makeshift barrier. Taking on a room full of armored bodyguards -- that he was okay with. Jumping out of a third-story window? Not so much. That was a lot of space between them and the ground. "That ain't gonna work!"

"Well...we won't know 'til we try!" Andee insisted as he snatched up a lamp and flung it through the window to shatter it as glass tinkled down into the concrete patio on the lower level.

Samael whimpered as the night air rushed in, reminding him instantly of their current height. "That don't sound like no fuckin' grass, even!" he wailed, his eyes still locked on the door as the guards outside continued to fire through the furniture and occasionally attempted to batter their way past his barricade. "I'm gonna break my goddamn legs, Andee!"

Andee grit his teeth and fidgeted on the spot. He could away, after all. There was still time. Samael was tough, he'd suck it up and jump...right? His eyes flicked to the chupa, watching the way Samael steeled himself as if he was going to just try and take on a whole group of armed guards with his bare hands. He opened his muzzle to call to the rebel, only to freeze as the scream of turbines filled the air.

Andee turned his head slowly and stared at the dropship that drifted into position directly outside the window. A spotlight swiveled toward them and Samael craned his neck owlishly as a harsh beam washed over him. His eyes widened a bit, a muted look of shock taking hold for only a moment before he growled. "Alright, fuck it..." He turned toward the dropship and Andee blinked in confusion. "The window it is."

The bat raised a hand to ask what the fuck he meant...only to sputter incredulously as Samael charged the broken window. "W-wait, Sammy! It's too far away, and it's full of fuckin' soldiers! Fuck!" He had only a moment to react, spreading his wings and beating them quickly to take flight just behind the chupa as Samael threw himself into the night air with a grunt.

Andee stretched out with his talons, a panicked look on his face as he barely managed to clutch into Samael's broad shoulders. His arms immediately screamed in protest but he beat his wings as powerfully as he could with a snarl of defiance, and they were both lifted a few inches to line them up perfectly with the open door of the dropship.

Samael saw the first few soldiers waiting within stare blankly at the sight of the chupa and bat rocketing toward them, and he took full advantage of their confusion when Andee's talons released him. He used his momentum to crash into the cluster of armored soldiers with a howl of raw adrenaline, sending several of them stumbling back with multiple shouts of confusion.

Andee barely managed to dodge past another soldier, slamming into the other side of the aircraft with a squawk, then hurriedly scrambling to the side as the small platoon scattered away from their bowled-over comrades. He watched as Samael shoved himself up to his paws before grinning doggedly and gesturing to the seven or eight soldiers around him. "C'mon, then, fuckers!! Let's tussle!"

"Goddammit, puppy!" the bat hissed. He knew he wouldn't be able to help, however, wincing as the first two came in swinging while the dropship lurched and twisted, its pilot no doubt distracted by the altercation in the hold. It was then that Andee noticed the engine hatch next to him as his eyes lit up with an idea.

Samael yelped as a truncheon swung into his arm, wincing and rubbing at his bicep while he quickly stepped back. "Hey, assholes, fight fair!" he hollered before squealing and ducking under another wild swing from a different soldier. He moved in to wrap one arm around his attacker's limb, twisting violently while yanking the nightstick free. "Ha! Now we're even!" he cackled, only to wheeze as yet another soldier lunged in with a punishing jab to his solar plexus. "Sonuvabitch!" he panted, dropping to one knee while just deflecting a blow aimed at his head.

They closed in around him and he clenched his teeth together as he leaped up again and started to throw random punches sprinkled in with quick swings of the truncheon. He managed to drive a few of them back, but there were too many, and their armor was making even his lucky hits nearly meaningless. He looked around desperately for Andee, only able to hope that the bat had avoided drawing their attention. The brief distraction rewarded him with a vicious smash against his ribs and the rebel cried out in pain before responding with a sudden thrust kick into the soldier to send him stumbling back into the cockpit.

The dropship swung hard to one side as the pilot cursed and tried to correct it, giving Samael a precious few seconds to shove his way past two soldiers as they struggled to keep their balance. Andee appeared before him and grabbed his shirt, yelling over the sound of the screaming thrusters: "Time to go, puppy!"

"Whaddya mean, 'time to go'?!?" Samael shouted back, a moment before he gasped as Andee yanked firmly on his shirt and forced him out of the craft.


Samael flailed wildly as he fell toward the earth, managing an "Oh shiiiiiiiiit!" before he crashed down into the muddy pond with a sickening squelch. The air was knocked from the chupa's lungs an instant before Andee landed on his chest, forcing out a tiny squeak as mud splattered them both. "Oh fuuuuuck, my everything," Samael mumbled, wincing and trying to regain his bearings as his head spun and his body desperately attempted to reset itself.

Andee slid off of Samael's chest, only to promptly lose his grip and fall down into the mud as well. "Fuckin' hell! Ah shit, c'mon, Sammy, we gotta go!" He reached out blindly to tug on Samael's sleeve and the chupa nodded numbly as he struggled to roll over and get to his knees.

"I'm workin' on it...gimme a sec," he panted as he struggled to force air back into his lungs. His world was still spinning, a maelstrom of damp mud, wailing engines and what had to be a cracked rib or two.

"No, you don't get it, we gotta move!" Andee insisted over the roar of the dropship above them, still attempting to right itself as it swung in a slow arc.

Samael looked up in confusion before his eyes dragged over to the broken window where he saw two soldiers that must have managed to break into the lounge. They were aiming their pistols toward them and the chupa grit his teeth, expecting the worst; there was no time to avoid the fire, they were out in the open, and...

His anticipation was shattered when a sudden explosion ripped through the air above them. His jaw dropped as he stared up at the aircraft, a massive gout of fire wreathing the twisted frame as one of the wings hung loose from the destructive blast. The ship slumped to one side despite the pilot's desperate attempts to straighten it and Samael vaguely sensed Andee dragging him up to his paws and forcing him to stumble away as he watched the troop transport veer toward the mansion.

His paws carried him of their own accord since he couldn't seem to tear his eyes away from the almost-sluggish collision of the ship into the enormous house. The secondary explosion was powerful enough that several windows at the back of the mansion blew out from the sheer force, and Samael barely kept his footing as the ground beneath them shook with the impact. "Holy fuck, Andee, what the hell didja do??" he finally managed to spit out as he forced his eyes away from the inferno that engulfed the back of the estate.

"Dropped about half my payload into that bitch!" the bat cackled.

They reached the wall free of any wayward bullets or pursuers; the explosion had served to draw the remaining guards' attention away from the two intruders. "It should at least buy us a little time, puppy! C'mon!"

The wall was low enough this way that Samael was able to pull himself up, and he and Andee dropped down next to the car with matching grunts. They took a moment to appraise each other, both their bodies coated thickly with mud, but neither one seeming to have any blood mixed in. After a second, Samael grinned. "Well, at least we both look like shit this time."

Andee snickered despite himself, shaking his head. "Shaddup, shortstack, 'n get this fucker moving."

They'd only driven a block or so before the first sirens sounded through the residential district. Samael dropped all pretense of blending in at that point, slamming the pedal down and encouraging the old sedan to show its teeth. When they approached the checkpoint, his paw never came off the accelerator and he muttered an apology to the guards he knew they'd never appreciate.

The pair burst through the boom gate in an explosion of painted wood as the shocked militia yelled, stumbled out from the shack and struggled to unholster their weapons fast enough to fire at their tail lights. At least he'd kept his promise about coming back through before the sun was up.

The high-speed pursuit took them away from where they'd originally emerged, Samael focusing more on keeping them from getting riddled with bullet holes than trying to remember where the entrance to the underground was. Fortunately, Andee knew an alternate spot with access to the abandoned subway system, and so he yelled directions to Samael as they led the military vehicles on a harrowing chase through the backstreets and alleyways of the city as the first rays of sunshine stretched down through the skyscrapers like thin spotlights illuminating a path for the two bandits.

Samael ended up simply ramming the car into the empty building that marked the path downward, hoping it would slow their pursuers enough to give them a few more seconds to escape. They flung themselves from the car, and bat and rebel raced down the stairs together, hearing the shouts of the militia close behind...

...That was, until Andee paused to shove a pair of adhesive explosives against the walls of the old underground stairwell, then rushed Samael to safety a moment before they were shaken by the deafening detonation. The already-weakened structure collapsed as several tons of dirt and tile fell atop the caved-in concrete, effectively sealing the way down and leaving the two free to escape unhindered.

They still didn't trust their safety, however, and the duo used their soaring adrenaline to hop astride the unused tracks and start a quick jog away from the platform. Andee took flight next to Samael and the two moved swiftly, barely a word uttered between them until they reached the next desolate station. It was only then they finally felt comfortable enough to stumble to a jagged halt, their chests heaving as they remembered how to breathe.

Andee dropped onto a bench with a wheeze, slumping down and rubbing slowly at his side. "Holy shit, puppy...I can't believe we're fuckin' alive..."

Samael grinned and flopped down next to him, sliding free of the backpack and letting it thump down to the platform below. "Goddamn right we are...but yer fuckin' right...we probably shouldn't be," he muttered between his quickened breaths, letting his body melt into the bench with a quiet groan.

They took a few minutes to let their exhausted bodies relax, their pounding pulses and rapid breaths steadying as the silent tunnel remained free of any distant shouts or sirens. They'd actually pulled this off and made their escape, lock, stock and fuckin' barrel.

"We got out with our lives and the goods... that ain't too shabby," Andee sang out with a laugh, reaching down to pat the backpack. "Ain't too shabby at all," he repeated while smirking up at Samael. "Guess you were a pretty useful schmuck after all, puppy..."

"Damn skippy!" Samael boasted as he puffed his chest out. His eyes locked onto Andee's, dancing excitedly while he slid closer on the bench. "Tell me we don't make the best team ya ever seen, eh?"

Andee tried not to grin, but he failed miserably. "Heh. We ain't too bad, I guess," he replied while reaching up to hook a claw into Samael's torn, muddied shirt. "Ya pulled your weight, at least, coulda been worse..."

Samael laughed quietly, allowing himself to be pulled down toward the bat. "Helluva compliment comin' from you," he murmured as he slid an arm around Andee's waist. Their muzzles pushed together before their heads tilted as Andee nosed slowly into Samael's throat...only to make a face and pull back.

"Goddamn, puppy, you're a muddy bitch," he grumbled, ignoring the rather pointed desire he could feel boiling between them.

"Li'l dirt never hurt no one," Samael rumbled while leaning down and licking his companion's muzzle...then pausing and gagging quietly, turning his head to spit out some mud. "...Yeah, a'right, point taken..." He sighed and rubbed at his mud-caked neck, looking particularly forlorn as he kept his other arm around Andee. "Don't fuckin' believe it, every time we..."

Andee reached up and wrapped a hand around Samael's maw with a smirk. "Shut up, Sammy. Look over there." He nodded to the side, and Samael's eyes followed to spot a sign labeled "Traveler's Restrooms". He immediately brightened as Andee chuckled softly and released his muzzle. "Let's go see if the water's still runnin', shortstack..." He hopped off the bench and winked back up at the chupa. "Don't forget the backpack."

Samael gave a crooked grin. "How could I? I know yer only into me for my shiny bits," he teased while snagging the bag. His eyes locked onto the bat's hips as they drew him helplessly along after Andee into the dark, tiled passageway, not a drop of hesitation flowing through his veins.

He'd followed worse things into darker corners, after all.

Samael dropped the pack by the entrance to what was essentially a cluster of semi-private bathrooms, each with a changing area, sink, mirror, toilet and shower stall. Andee stood by the doorway to one with a small smile as water trickled out of a lime-encrusted shower head behind him. "It ain't four-star, but the water's working, at least..."

Samael smiled warmly and nearly tore his shirt off as he strode forward. "Like I give a fuck..."

Andee chuckled, his gaze tracing over the dirt-infused chest of the chupa while he calmly removed his oversized collar. Samael's eyes were gleaming as he slid out of his pants, watching eagerly as Andee started to remove the various items from beneath his half-poncho. He felt impatient, yet still savored every moment, drank in each deliberate motion from the bat. It didn't take long for his body to show a bit of visual urgency, however, and Andee's grin broadened. "Goddamn, puppy, I'll sling shit at ya all day, but it is kinda cute to see just how damn riled up you get around me..."

"You got no fuckin' idea," Samael panted, meaning every word as he took another step forward. Andee only smirked and leisurely removed the muddy poncho from his shoulders. He laid it atop the pile of assorted explosives and gadgets before taking a step back into the stall while gesturing to Samael with a claw.

The tiles beneath them were cracked, the walls stained with rust and rot...most of the fixtures were long-dead as only a few fluorescent bulbs still flickered to cast weak flashes of light across them. The water came out from the shower head in only three or four weak streams, barely enough to rinse away the cobwebs that stretched across the stall. The whole place was in disrepair, rundown and infested with god knew what. It would have made even the most desperate shelter-seekers hesitate.

...And yet everything about that moment felt perfect.

Samael's heart thudded as his paws carried him across the broken, mildew-covered tiles, and his entire body twinged when Andee tossed his hat aside and strode beneath the water. The clear liquid ran down Andee's muzzle and neck to dribble over his torso, furrowing his thick fur and carrying some of the mud away to reveal the natural brown coat beneath. A whimper escaped the chupa's muzzle and he took another step forward, all but hyperventilating as he drank in the intoxicating sight.

He stepped into the stall with Andee and did what came naturally, dropping to one knee to wrap a muscular arm around his companion's hips. The bat didn't stop him and only smiled up at him bemusedly while the chupa lifted him to press their chests together. Samael gently pushed Andee against the back of the stall as the water ran over his own messy features, trickling down from his muzzle to splash across Andee's. Mud began to roll off his masculine frame as well, but neither of them paid it any mind as he leaned down.

Andee's head lifted and their jaws met halfway, almost delicately bumping together for a moment before Samael panted and leaned down further, burying his muzzle into Andee's neck as he nuzzled close to his companion. The bat grinned and reached up to wrap a wing around the back of the chupa's skull, keeping him held in the crook of his neck as his other hand traced slowly down along the rebel's broad chest. Andee's own excitement was on an unstoppable ascent as Samael nibbled at his neck, and he couldn't help but give a throaty grumble of delight when the chupa moved his free hand down to massage along one of his thighs.

As their bodies ground together, Samael felt his embrace around Andee slip a bit with the water running over them and he cursed into the bat's fur while shifting to reposition him. Andee rolled his head back with a soft laugh, giving Samael a moment to push his muzzle along his neck again before he tapped a claw against the chupa's forehead. "Hold up, puppy..."

Samael was loath to lift his head, his tail twisting behind him and causing the piercing to tinkle quietly as he pulled back and looked down at Andee with an almost-pitiful look in his eyes. But the bat just smiled and craned his neck forward to push his nose against the rebel's maw. "Saw somethin' in here that'll help. Trust me -- lemme go grab it while you keep gettin' this mud outta your damn fur," he instructed softly, running a claw along his partner's collarbone.

Samael pouted but nodded, setting the bat down and fighting every urge in his body to simply grasp himself and do something with all the pent-up arousal. Andee seemed to catch the torn expression, grinning amusedly and then winking as he ducked out of the stall to another dark corner of the common room. Samael exhaled and turned around to lean against the shower wall as he ran his fingers through his fur and worked some of the dirt free. It was all he could do to stop himself from stomping out and grabbing Andee, wherever the hell he'd gone, to continue where they'd left off.

But a moment later, he heard the sound of something being dragged across the tiles and he blinked curiously, leaning out slightly and then blanching at the sight of Andee pulling a small maintenance ladder to the stall. The chupa tilted his head before grunting and pressing back against the wall as Andee swiftly spread the legs of the ladder and climbed to the top, putting him just above the rebel's eye-level while effectively trapping Samael in the shower. He grinned smugly when Samael stared up at him, reaching out with a wing to push the chupa back against the wall. "Toldja I was gonna have top bunk," he murmured, his voice both teasing and affectionate as he pressed forward and nudged his maw once more against Samael's.

Samael grinned back, sliding his arms around Andee and taking the shift of power easily into stride. "So ya did, ya sneaky li'l fuck..."

Their muzzles moved closer...only to pause as a distinct sound echoed through the main tunnel outside. Samael frowned slightly while Andee's ears swiveled back, and they both glanced toward the entrance. "Is...that's a goose, ain't it?"

Andee scowled, his claws digging gently into Samael's shoulder in frustration. "It sure fuckin' is," he muttered. "Who the fuck..." He blinked in surprise when he felt the ladder moving, turning about to see Samael carefully lifting and turning it sideways.

"I'll go find out...motherfucker," the chupa growled, looking as wary as he did infuriated. "If it's someone gonna start some shit, swear to fuckin' god..." he added, stalking across the common area as Andee cursed quietly and called after him.

"Puppy, wait! God...dammit, ya ain't even got a weapon, asshole! That stiff dick don't count!" He scrambled down from the ladder while Samael clenched his fists and approached the entrance to the passageway leading to the abandoned terminal outside.

Samael froze when he heard a familiar voice calling out. Is that... He tilted his head before carefully peering out from the doorway.

A tall, rippling chupa stood at the other end of the hallway, wearing only a pair of snug jeans and a curious expression. The interloper blinked and cocked his head when Samael's features stared at him from the darkness. "Uh...Sammy? Is...that you?"

A moment later, Andee poked his head out with a glower and the newcomer looked even more confused. "Wait...Andee??"

Andee grumbled and glanced up at Samael before shrugging and simply striding out into the passageway. "Great fuckin' timing, York, just fuckin' stellar..."

Samael gave a matching shrug, wandering out as well so that their intruder could stare at their soaked, muddy, nude bodies for a few seconds.

The befuddled ex-Freelancer cleared his throat and put his hands on his hips. "Okay, seriously, what the hell are you two doing in Episemon? And...what are you doing down here, no less? All dirty and wet and stuff. Are you...wait...Ooh. Ooooooh." A grin slowly spread across York's features. "Heh."

Samael sighed but smiled slightly all the same as he and Andee shared another brief, wistful look. "Good to see ya, York. You fuckin' cock-blockin' bitch."

Red vs Blue © Rooster Teeth. Halo © 343 Industries. Concept by Myshu, assisted by The Department of Chupapology.

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